Be assertive

One of the biggest problems facing the Christian as he attempts to carry out the great commission is the basic tendency among the brotherhood to be easily intimidated. We have the habit of allowing someone to out talk us or out shout us or falsely accuse us and then we simply hush up and don’t respond. This should not ever occur. We should not be intimidated. We are children of the king.

This chapter is designed first to show you that we should be assertive and secondly how to go about it. Lets talk here for a minute about the need to be assertive.

In receiving directions from God, they come in different ways. The easiest way to understand is the direct method, by command. An assertive nature among Christians is a thing that is commanded. Now I know that immediately there are many readers that are saying, “I don’t remember reading such a command”. Well, lets take a brief look at a sampling of scriptures that do just that.

A good place to begin is with the great commission. We will use the record found in Matthew 28:19,20. “Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.”

Within this command comes the necessary means to carry it out. There is transportation in order to go; There are classes, tracts, speaking, and other methods included in the idea to teach. But within the make up of this command is also the idea of accomplishment. This command, to bring a lost world to a loving savior, necessitates an assertive nature. No one who is consumed by the pleasures of sin is going to actively and willingly seek out and listen to Bible teaching unless we are assertive enough to demand attention to things spiritual. While we need to be cautious and loving in how we do this, the fact is that to be successful we must do this.

Our next scripture comes from the requirements for one to hold the position of an elder found in the letter to Titus. In verses 9-14 we read the following, “Holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort and to convince the gainsayers. For there are many unruly and vain talkers and deceivers, specially they of the circumcision: Whose mouths must be stopped, who subvert whole houses, teaching things which they ought not, for filthy lucre’s sake. One of themselves, even a prophet of their own, said, The Cretians are alway liars, evil beasts, slow bellies. This witness is true. Wherefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith, Not giving heed to Jewish fables, and commandments of men, that turn from the truth.”

Lets discuss some of the pertinent ideas expressed in this text in relationship to assertiveness on the part of the Christian. There is the idea of convincing the gainsayer. This means to rebuke his doctrine privately and publicly so that the error he teaches and the opposition he poses to Christ can be overcome. It refers to these false teachers as unruly, vain talkers, and deceivers. It is not within the realm of possibility to convict these people of error without being assertive. Their very nature would preclude them from calm, reasoned study.

Paul continues by discussing the vast amount of harm done by these deceivers. He stresses the need to deal with them by saying that their mouths must be stopped. There is not even a hint of a non-assertive approach to accomplish what Paul here commands. They must be faced, answered, rebuked, and stopped. This can only be done by an assertive and educated Christian.

Now no one should believe that he is exempt from these directions simply because he is not an elder. With very few exceptions, the requirements for elders are also requirements for all mature Christians. One should not attempt to do that which he is not prepared to do (such as the newborn Christian trying to argue spiritual issues when he is not yet capable of so doing) but one should do all within his power to carry forth the doctrine of Christ. The principles expressed in this passage directed towards elder selection apply to every Christian capable of following them.

In my examination of this text I mentioned that this rebuke should be both privately and publicly. Lest someone should suggest that this should not be public in nature, consider the following.

In reading about Apollos and his work we find in Acts 18:28, “For he mightily convinced the Jews, and that publicly, shewing by the scriptures that Jesus was Christ.” Certainly Apollos did his convincing in a public manner.

Consider Paul in the latter chapters of Acts, particularly as he stands before Agrippa. In Acts 26:26,27 we read, “For the king knoweth these things, before whom also I speak freely: for I am persuaded that none of these things are hidden from him; for this thing was not done in a corner. King Agrippa, believest thou the prophets? I know that thou believest.”

Paul openly teaches the truth at this time and place which, if we read back a few chapters, is the culmination of a public rebuke of error and a presentation of the truth. Here Paul also convicts Agrippa by stating that he knew of the belief that Agrippa had even though he would not confirm this belief by surrender to Christ. Within all this public activity of convicting and convincing, there is Paul’s statement that Christianity has always been a public religion and that its doings and teachings have not been hidden in a corner.

Stephen delivered in Acts the seventh chapter, a great explanation and defence of Christianity. So great was his presentation that it so angered the crowd of unbelievers that they took him out and killed him. Can anyone deny that this rebuke was public in nature?

There are many other scriptures that demand an assertive nature be a part of the Christian arsenal but these should suffice for now. Probably, having had your thinking stimulated, there are many scriptures that you can recall that are along this vein. But now let us turn our attention to a second way in which God guides us, by specific examples recorded in the scriptures.

We have already seen Stephen, Paul, and Apollos. But it would be amiss not to mention the greatest convictor of sin that ever lived, Jesus Christ. It was Jesus that turned over the tables of the money changers in the temple; It was Jesus that called the scribes and Pharisees hypocrites; It was Jesus who proclaimed himself the Messiah in the assembly of the Jews. The list goes on and on but one thing is for sure, Jesus was assertive. As His followers, in taking on us the mind of Christ, we must also become assertive about the things that are eternal.

Having seen the Biblical authority for Christian assertiveness, why is it that, for the most part, we are just the opposite? It probably has to do with the fact that many in the church teach against assertiveness, confusing humbleness and passiveness. Jesus was the most humble man that ever lived but he was far from being non assertive. God’s use of the word humble simply means submissive to His will. It does not mean submissive to every will, only to His. We often should oppose error or sin but do not because we misunderstand Biblical humility.

The irony of all this is that we will be assertive with a brother or sister very quickly who is right in what they say while passing over error by a non-member under the pretext of humility. Doubtless there are many within the church that would argue with me for hours, in an assertive manner, neither taking nor giving any quarter, that being assertive is not a Christian characteristic. (Don’t you just love consistency?)

There are three things to be considered in becoming the assertive Christians that Jesus wants us to be. First, we must not allow ourselves to be intimidated. Second, we must not allow ourselves to be labeled. Third, we must not ever apologize for who we are, children of the king.

First, I am tired of people that try to intimidate Christians, especially since they enjoy such a great ratio of success. Many is the time that I have seen the Christian intimidated into being ashamed to be called a Christian because of what some “Christian” somewhere had done that was wrong. We must never be intimidated about who we are.

Have you ever heard a Christian trying to explain who he was but at the same time trying to justify his lack of submission to God’s ordinances? One statement that I often have heard stated is, “Now I don’t claim to be a saint…” Why not? That’s exactly what we are according to scripture. Saints are not perfect, they are perfected by Christ. But saints and Christians are the same thing, totally and exactly (Acts 9:13, Romans 1:7, I Cor. 1:2, Ephesians 1:1, Philippians 1:1, etc.).

We should not be intimidated by who we are. The greatest price ever paid for anything was paid for us, the blood of Christ, and it is precisely that price that made us who we are. To be ashamed of who we are is to be ashamed of the blood of Christ.

Secondly, we must never allow anyone to label us in an unfair manner. Often someone will use the term Christian as a label, linking us to all that has been done allegedly in the name of Christ. Well, simply because someone called themselves a Christian or their act a Christian act is meaningless. The Bible says to judge by one’s works, not his words (James 2:14-17). I refuse to accept the responsibility for everything done by other Christians. I would not want to be saddled with everything done by all Americans, all men, or even all plumbers. Certainly I will not be crushed under the weight of every injustice done in the name of Christianity. Evil is neither the doing of Christ nor his disciples and I refuse to be so labeled simply because I truly am a Christian, a child of the king.

Thirdly, don’t apologize for who you are. One of the personal battles I had to fight when I was younger was justifying that the churches of Christ were representative of the church established by Christ in the long ago. Many would ask me how I could be so sure about the church. Others would say that I was a member simply because of my parents and had I been born in another setting, perhaps Buddhist or Moslem, then I would have embraced that religion. They would suggest that I was naive and foolish to believe that I should be so fortunate as to be born to a family embracing true Christianity. This doubt that was cast by others made me begin to look for error in the church so that I could give it up to prove that I was willing to change for Christ.

There are two obvious problems with what had happened to me. The first was that I had been convinced to find error where there was none. All that could come from that philosophy was evil and sinister. The second problem was to assume that I could not have been born to a proper family of true Christians. Someone has to be born in the proper house. That’s just the way it is. One should not apologize for good fortune, he should simply use it to its best advantage for good and the kingdom.

In truth, being born to a family of God has its own peculiar set of temptations. Satan uses this in the same manner that he uses all situations. There are just as many trials for someone born of Christian parents; They are simply different in type, not in number.

I no longer apologize for my good fortune but rather I am very thankful for it. The value I gained from having good Christian parents will go unmeasured until eternity. I am not apologetic but deeply grateful for such a blessing.

But whether we are born into a Christian home or find Christ on our own, we must not apologize for being a part of His body. The church is that institution which Christ purchased, married, and will save. There is in there no place for an apologetic spirit. I am a child of the king.

Why should one be assertive? Well, I think it has already been established that it will help further the borders of the kingdom. But as you become more assertive in life, in conversation, even in Bible class, you will run into opposition from two areas. You need to know this and know how to deal with it.

The first opposition will come from family and friends. They will remember who you once were and if there has been a great change in your life because of Christ, they will be unable or unwilling to forget the past. They will remind you of who you were relentlessly, never leaving a single story forgotten or untold.

I, and many others, have suffered such a fate at the hands of our families and friends. I am sometimes told how “mean” or how “bad” I was when I was younger. In truth, I don’t believe I was nearly as bad as some portray me. I never intentionally hurt anyone and I was never in any major trouble. But whether or not I was really mean and bad when I was young, that person no longer exists. He died to sin some years ago and was buried and I took his place. Christians, both friends and family, are unfair and even sinful when they hold to the past that others have left behind.

Dealing with this situation is sometimes difficult. We might want to set someone straight or we might lose our temper. Sometimes we might just be hurt by them and keep it to ourselves. But the best way I have found for me to handle this situation is through reflection, understanding, and prayer.

First I reflect on the words and life of Christ. In Matthew 13:57 Jesus says, “A prophet is not without honour, save in his own country, and in his own house.” Christ warned me from the outset that this would be the case. His life is an example of its application for even His own brothers did not at first believe in Him.

Second I try to exercise understanding and patience. I realize, after all, that my family and friends still love me and mean no harm. They just have a hard time recognizing who I now am. Since I still love them, I tolerate and forgive what often hurts because I realize the hurt unintentioned. was

Third, I pray for my patience to survive and their wisdom to increase. I ask for strength to sustain me until they get over who I was (If ever they do) and that they will one day cease to remind me of things better forgotten than remembered. That time may never come (and often does not) but by turning it over to Christ it becomes easier to accept and deal with.

The second opposition will come from enemies. They will withstand you, misrepresent you, lie against you, deceive you, and do almost anything you can imagine to defeat you as you become more assertive for Christ. But what to do here is simple because Christ gives us the exact thing we need to do. In the sermon on the mount, Christ recorded this statement. “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven:” (Matthew 5:44,458). The answer is simple because it is given to us. The carrying out of it may be more difficult. The only thing here that I can say is try it and as you do as Christ here directs, it will become easier every time it is necessary.

No matter what the opposition toward your becoming assertive for Christ, whether it comes from friend or foe, it must be met, dealt with, and dismissed so that your effectiveness in the kingdom will be increased. Remember, you have a right and a responsibility to be assertive. After all, you are a child of the king.